What determines our happiness in relationships? How can we go from ‘survive’ to ‘thrive’? How can we not end up alone, together? What about passion, romance, fighting and fixing? LoveWorks talks about ALL the lovely and hard truths beyond that exciting first flush of love. We go with you into the skills that can help sustain loving connections that can grow richer over time.
Our podcast, LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life is now available on Apple, Google, Spotify and Amazon’s podcast apps, as well as Deezer and many more. Catch up with us as we talk about the often-strange expectations we have of each other, of marriage, the ways we fake it and all the ways it can get better.
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My Divorce Story (Hers)
Kristy talks about her divorce, looking back at some key elements of the past that were believed to be true at the time, but needed to change. The influence of family-of-origin, inherited beliefs about how a woman is supposed to be in a marriage, habit and fears are considered. The disequilibrium of the first year of divorce is explored, along with a path towards healing identified and discussed. The joy of a new relationship — and new marriage — is considered, along with how divorce changed her.
My Divorce Story (His)
Jerry talks about his divorce, looking back at some key elements of the past that were believed to be true at the time, but needed to change. The influence of family-of-origin, inherited beliefs about how a man is supposed to be in a marriage, habit and fears are considered. The disequilibrium of the first year of divorce is explored, along with a path towards healing identified and discussed. The joy of a new relationship, and new marriage, is considered, along with how divorce changed him.
When Is A Relationship Over?
Kristy & Jerry discuss those pivotal, painful questions that come when you look, with clarity, at what you’ve got going on your relationship, right now, today. Are there any signs it is getting better? Do I still even want it to? Do we have too many years of bad habits, neglect and poor communication? Would we be better off calling it quits and starting off with new people? Or do we just need to work harder? And how, exactly, do we begin to do that?
Dancing In The Dark
Jerry and Kristy discuss the dance(s) couples do with little awareness, almost on auto-pilot, leading to general dissatisfaction for both. Alternatives are considered.
Kristy & Jerry discuss the art of acting-in-relationships, and the toll this takes. Careful distinction is made between resisting the temptation to overshare and vent (in boundaryless fashion) and the absolute fakery that gets couples in big trouble.
Kristy and Jerry dissect a few of the relationship myths we grew up believing and consider some healthier alternatives.
Mind Reading & Faulty Radar
Kristy and Jerry discuss a few of the most traditional destined-to-fail strategies couples often employ and suggest some different approaches.
In which the two of us consider the beautiful beginning phase of relationships and the rose-colored glasses that usually accompany it. Do you remember walking with your feet several inches off the ground? Or were your early days as a couple much more fraught, and cautious, than that? But still….the deliciousness that all-too-often gets buried beneath things that creep in later with couples…consider them again.