I believe it’s the lack of this skill that makes people susceptible to emotional affairs. Someone at work can listen with great empathy because they have no skin in the game.

Spring is here once again, and this one feels extra special. We get to stop experiencing ourselves, and each other, as square little boxes on a flickering screen and to see what it is like to actually be in each other’s physical presences again.

I sat on the therapist’s couch with my soon-to-be ex-husband. She looked at me and asked, “why did you stay as long as you did?”

Whether it is a marriage or a long-term monogamous commitment the same set of questions are ever-present: what is yours, what is mine, and what is ours?

First, realize there’s no such thing as blended. It’s more like stirring up pot roast with lasagna and calling it a new dish.

Watch/listen to this short video

Jerry Sander, LCSW Interview

Our marriages ended; everything is different. We wrote this post together after we did our Podcast for LoveWork – Skills for a Relational Life.

What determines our happiness in relationships? How can we go from ‘survive’ to ‘thrive’? How can we not end up alone, together? What about passion, romance, fighting, and fixing?

We are in a constant flux of harmony, disharmony and repair. But if we can keep the disappointments in perspective and not take them as opportunities to blow them out of proportion….we can minimize the damage we’re prone to do to them.